Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
there is glitter all over my balls
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