I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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