so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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