it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
