I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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