I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I can't turn off my feet"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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