Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
