i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
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