i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
