my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
