Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The ass gains better be worth it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
