the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize