I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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