Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
