Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
