She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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