i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
