and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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