Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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