Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
