is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
