I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
