so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
