their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
