how do flat chested girls get laid?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
