Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
