that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
