You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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