I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
