I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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