I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
