I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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