It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
