The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
