i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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