the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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