that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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