her vagine was all disorganized.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
