i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
