stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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