dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize