i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize