So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
this is an emotional support booty call
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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