six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
