Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
