Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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