I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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