It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
