She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize