youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
