if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize