I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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