I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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