Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
