that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
