she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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