We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
