Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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