Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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