you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
