guys are only as good as the porn they watch
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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