I'm jealous of your bromance
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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