the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
